30 Day Challenge- Day 20

The disappointment over not being able to run in the marathon continues to set in, but I'm trying so hard to only turn this into something good.

One amazing, but so not surprising, outcome of all of this has been the incredible support from my friends and family. It's just been really nice to continue to feel supported during this time of transition and questioning.

It's easy for me to be down on myself and beat myself up for all these things I could have and should have done, but I know there's no use in doing that. It's not going to change the outcome.

I'm hopeful that one thing that will come out of this is a long and serious look at how I'm trying to lose weight. As a direct result of the news I got yesterday I worked up the nerve to go to an Overeater's Anonymous meeting today at lunchtime. Just writing that out here where I know people I love and respect are reading is scary and in some ways embarrassing. But I've learned that the best way to get support is to bring people along on my journey so they truly understand what I'm doing and how I'm getting there.

I actually thought about going to a meeting a few weeks ago. I even forced myself to go and showed up only to find out that the meeting was incorrectly posted on the website. After I called OA HQ and the meeting facilitator (information also available on the website) to complain about the mishap and have the meeting taken off the website, I needed to work the courage to return. For real.

While I don't think my weight is the only reason I can't run the marathon, I do know it's a huge factor (no pun intended, seriously). And, as my mom said, maybe I need to tackle one thing before I tackle the other. So off to OA I went.

Initial thoughts on the meeting are mixed. But I'm not making any decisions until I attend at least six meetings- that was the advice of one person in today's meeting. My main hesitation is the whole religious factor. I really question my own religious beliefs and being involved with a program soooooo rooted in religion and higher power and God is somewhat of a turnoff for me. But on the other hand, being in a room with people who are non-judgemental and can talk so freely, openly and honestly about their real problems associated with food is so refreshing.

It's a big step I took today and one that makes me really proud. I'm excited to see where THIS one will take me.