What Does a Picture Tell us Anyway?

Here's the thing...I started this blog as a way to chart my progress, to help me keep on track with my goals of running the marathon AND being more aware of the food choices I make and quite frankly to keep me honest. I never said it would be fun. I've admitted to eating a ton of crap in the same day- McDonald's, Panda Express (that damn orange chicken gets me everytime), pizza, etc.- and to other bad habits that I have when it comes to eating.

This picture is an example of something that's not necessarily fun for me. I wouldn't say I look my greatest. But it's me. And I love myself for getting out there and running that race when I knew I wasn't going to be able to run all 3.1 miles of my first road race since 1999. And I love myself for being brave enough to write all about this. I love myself for making really hard decisions to pay attention to what I eat why I eat it and when I eat it. I know I'm taking a really long and slow route to having an eventual better relationship with food and ultimately myself. But I do firmly believe that I will be so much better for it in the end. And, since this is ultimately about me running a marathon next October in Dublin, I love myself for believing in myself enough to just say fuck it and go for it. Screw the bad image I have of myself. Stop talking badly about myself. Stop imagining all these awful scenarios about how my weight dictates who I am and what others think of me. Just be.

So who cares about the unflattering aspects of this picture. Besides that's the not so nice part of me talking. When I see this picture, I see someone who is deteremined to create a better life for herself. I see someone who is committed to being healthy and happy for herself. When I look at this picture, I see someone who isn't giving up. I see someone who is trying so hard to leave the negative thoughts and feelings behind and to charge toward a kind dialogue with herself.

And finally. I see someone who is resolved to cross the finish line at the Dublin Marathon on October 27th, 2007.

What do you see?