Dublin Here I Come!

I started running when I moved to New Hampshire at the suggestion of a good family friend. I loved running and can remember some of my happier times specifically due to this passion of mine.

I've never been good at thinking of big dreams and big goals. I'm also not good about thinking of the future and forecasting what I want to do 5, 10 or even 20 years from now. I just don't know what life will bring me, so I tend to shy away from thinking too far into the future.

Except in one instance.

A goal I've always had in the back of my mind has been to run a marathon by the time I turn 30.

Simple, right? I mean, I used to be a runner. This shouldn't be a problem for me. Except it is. It's a big one.

I'm out of shape- to put it mildly.
I'm overweight- to put it mildly.
Every time I start up running, I get shin splints.
I have the best of intentions when it comes to running and eating healthfully, and treating my body well and being loving to myself...but when it comes to execution, I fall flat.

And then I start this vicious cycle of beating myself up, eating poorly, feeling bad about myself because I ate poorly and then just doing nothing but getting into this negative argument inside my head about how I can't seem to do this. "I can do anything I put my mind to, but not this."

I turn 30 next October 23rd. My twin and I have already decided we're going to Ireland. And since I've always wanted to run a marathon, I decided to say out loud on more than one occasion that I'm going to run the Dublin Marathon. But I'm scared. And out of shape. And mean to myself. I work too much. I don't make myself a priority. i don't take care of myself and no one else certainly does.

The thing is, I really want to run this marathon. When I am in those rare moods lately of getting my ass out the door and working out, I feel great. And I love it. And sometimes I allow myself the time to dream about what that moment will be like when I cross the finish line in Dublin in October of 2008. It feels great; I feel great. And I really want that moment to become a reality.